I am caught between the job you gave me to do and the praise you want me to give to you .
With this new responsibility the ability to give you my time seems difficult.
It is true that I Love you and are no longer angry at this a cursed blessing you placed upon my breast.
But
Lord I ask you patience as I figure out the things with this new baby
what do I do next. The time is moving quickly and I feel like I haven't
been able to breathe yet.
Its been 8 months going eighty as we wait
in faith that this one bed room apartment will turn into the home to
raise this new born no infant turn toddler come child, adolescent adult
As we wait in faith that this new car will start to work
As we wait in faith that we will have enough to navigate this cruel world.
And
still - you've never failed me yet and still I believe that out of the
not so bad ashes that have burnt away all the selfishness I grow in
grace - I understand that your wisdom exceeds my comprehendable mind
Lord
I see a glimpse of you still in the midst of this foolishness trying to
console my flesh with the thoughts of eternity - the knowledge that
this is transient and that others have done more with far less. Trying
to wrap my head around the concept that more can mean less of you and
that promises in desperation are easily forgotten. I say this my Lord.
My God, my source my all. I fervently depend on you. Control - I have
none - you have it made so that I feel no other option - I am ashamed
that it has come to this - but I know you will because you said I Am.
Selah
Copyright
©2012 Norell-Lee Ramsay.
